I find it funny how my mind changes so quickly. It is almost as if I am constantly playing a card game stuck in the section of rapid-fire. My daily life consists of going from one thought to another and slightly correcting myself throughout the array of thoughts. I observe something and form an opinion on that specific thing, and the next thing you know I have taken the complete opposite side of that opinion. It is like one big debate continuously going on. I personally think this is why I am having trouble finding a topic for my argumentative essay coming up because I am always arguing with myself. How can I pick a topic to argue on if I cannot choose one side?
Today, I was thinking about how I want to design my new room for my next year of college. I thought fairy house nightlights, flower market posters, flower patterned sheets. An hour later, after overthinking about the style that I had just recently chosen, I thought seashells, Greece posters, lighthouse posters, anything blue that screams BEACH! This is the problem, I think I want one thing and it suits me well; however, what actually resonates with me always surfaces in my mind later on. After a while I think, should have done that one. It is perpetual.
Sometimes I wonder if everybody else is like this and is always jumping from one thought to another and then at some point you forget what the whole big idea was anyway. Does this mean I do not know myself well enough? The answer is no, it does not mean that. I think we all find ourselves questioning how self-aware we are, and in this day and age, most people are becoming very self-aware (with all of the shadow work and manifesting and whatnot). But at the end of the day, I always realize what it is I really felt about something in the first place. Progress is not linear, and neither is figuring out who you are and what you want to do.
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